I thought a lot both in captivity and after I returned about what is happening to us, why this happened to us, whether we could have prevented it, how to stop it. And, you know, these are foolish thoughts. They give nothing but bitterness and despair.
The answers are actually simple.
Why did this happen to us? Because it’s geography. Geography is fate. Because we could not take to the streets against Putin instead of the Russians, could not defend their media or constitution. They had to do that. But it suited them, and still suits them now, let’s be honest.
Could this have been prevented? Probably there was a several-percent chance that it would not have happened. If we had not given up our nuclear weapons, if we had not given up our strategic aviation planes, if we had immediately elected Chornovil instead of Kravchuk, if, if, if…
We all still torture ourselves with these ifs, as if one could go back in time and fix everything. But no. And these endless ifs become only points of tension around which we endlessly argue.
One must accept reality as it is, even when you don’t like it at all and you want to live in 2008 and pretend there is no war.
But this is how we live now. Adults hide their children, Russians kill civilians for fun, the country is filled with the hum of generators, the front line is thousands of kilometers. And on the international stage it still hasn’t been decided whether we are worthy of surviving and preserving the country.
Such is the reality. And within this reality I am very troubled by the thought that a huge number of people are involved in this war in some way, you know, a little bit.
I’m not even talking about the so-called draft dodgers, because they are only a small part of the great Ukrainian people. I think we have no complaints against the people, because the people are fighting en masse, and draft dodgers are an exception from the people, not its rule.
My complaint is directed at those who speak for the people, make decisions for the people, directly affect how and with what the people live. I mean our politicians and also some of our journalists.
I find it hard to accept that there is a huge number of people within our elite who for 4 years have behaved as if there is some spare Ukraine to which they will flee if this one falls. No, I understand that most well-positioned people have enough money and connections to spend the rest of their lives in Paris, Prague or New York, where they can talk about how the bad people failed and lost, and that you warned them.
But most of us do not have a spare Ukraine – there is only this one, there is no other life –there is only the one we are ready to give for Ukraine and in Ukraine.
I am incredibly irritated by politicians who see a crisis in power not as a risk but as a chance to snatch something. I cannot read news that are written to kill the last nerve cell in me for the sake of extra views of meaningless nonsense.
Everyone perceives Ukrainians as a resource. But this resource is not infinite.
I would really like Ukrainian politicians at least to learn to respect their people, their nation, for whom they work. Because these people are the only thing we have, and the only thing that can save us.
There are people who endure everything, who overcome incredible hardships, who are stronger than death and despair. People who do not know fear, and for whom “Ukraine above all” is not just words.
These people are our compatriots. And thanks to their devotion we can gather here and distribute awards to one another.
All we have are people, the Ukrainian people. And it is people we must invest in. In all who remained here, in all for whom Ukraine is important. In all who are repulsed by the thought of Russians, who fight and do not give up.
I saw Russia up close, and I am convinced that there is nothing more disgusting, more vile and less like Ukraine than Russia.
Sometimes it seems to me that those who have not seen Russia as close as I have do not quite understand what we are fighting against and how important it is not to lose.
If the devil has any residence on earth, then it is there, in Russia.
We must in no case become part of this hell. And we will not. Thanks to the incredible people who kill this scum every day. And thanks to the fact that everyone who is not on the front must do everything possible to help them – with gratitude and devotion every day.
And then the time will surely come when we will not argue and say: а ось якби…
Volodymyr Mykolayenko, for UP