Psychological help nowadays is no longer something unusual, as it was at least 10 years ago. However, there is still a stereotype in society that psychotherapy is for the weak, and if you cannot cope on your own, you may be judged. The war has intensified this stigmatization: there is so much grief around that one’s own problems often seem not serious enough to seek help. We tried to debunk all these prejudices with Marina Kozeratska, a psychologist at the Center for Assistance to the Rescued in Kherson.
Psychological help nowadays is no longer something unusual, as it was at least 10 years ago. However, there is still a stereotype in society that psychotherapy is for the weak, and if you cannot cope on your own, you may be judged. The war has intensified this stigmatization: there is so much grief around that one’s own problems often seem not serious enough to seek help. We tried to debunk all these prejudices with Marina Kozeratska, a psychologist at the Center for Assistance to the Rescued in Kherson.
Why people are afraid to turn to a psychologist
According to Marina Kozeratska, there are several reasons why people are afraid to seek psychological help. The first is the fear of being devalued. When a person experiences trauma, the brain activates a protective mechanism — “what happened to me is not serious enough, others have it worse.” The psyche may block certain memories. Behind these thoughts, according to the psychologist, there is usually the fact that previously the person was not heard, not supported, or someone reacted indifferently to a situation.
Another reason is shame and self-blame: “it’s my fault, I reacted incorrectly, I provoked it, I should have acted differently.” And although this does not correspond to reality, shame isolates and makes one hide from those who can help.
Often people do not turn to a psychologist because they want to forget and move on. Or they feel they must handle the problem themselves. This is especially typical of people aged 40+, who were raised with beliefs that a person must be strong and cope with everything alone, and weakness is unacceptable. Marina notes that this is also a natural protection of the psyche. It can help a person in the short term. However, accumulated negative experience and unspoken problems can later manifest as anxiety, tension, flashbacks, irritation.
“Often people do not speak about experienced violence out of fear that it will get worse. A person is afraid that if they start talking about the problem, the feelings will overwhelm them again, and they will not withstand it.” Such thoughts can arise because contact with traumatic experience can be quite intense. But the point is that in therapy we do not throw a person into pain; we first build points of support so that when the person is ready, they can go there,” notes the psychologist.
Often people are stopped by the fear that others will find out. Especially, according to Marina, this is typical for people from small settlements. There are concerns that fellow villagers will learn, that the information will affect the family, work, social status. Therefore, it is very important to emphasize that psychological help is confidential.
Quite often people are stopped by a lack of understanding of how psychological help works. They are afraid of being misunderstood.
“Some people still do not know which actions are classified as SNPK — sexual violence during conflict and
GBV — gender-based violence. But in general, people in most cases remain silent not because they do not need help, but because they have been alone with it for too long,” Marina notes.
What awaits a person who turns to the Center for Assistance to the Rescued in Kherson
There is a notion that during the first contact with a psychologist a person will immediately be forced to answer uncomfortable questions and recall what happened. Marina Kozeratska refutes this claim.
According to her, first the person will talk to a case manager and fill out basic documents to receive psychological help. During the consultation they will be informed about the possibility of receiving social assistance or financial compensation and informed about the full range of the Center’s services.
“For people who suffered sexual violence, there is a rehabilitation function that we implement in partnership with the organization ‘Nehemiah’. This is rehabilitation for families and rehabilitation for women separately. We can submit an application together and ‘Nehemiah’ conducts the selection and contacts the people,” Marina notes.
According to her, there are also several ways to contact the Center. It can be a phone call, a personal visit or a mobile specialist visit to the settlement. Representatives of the Center often make trips to various settlements, informing the village council about this. In such a case a person can contact a psychologist directly in their town or village.
Marina emphasizes: during the first contact with the Center there are no interrogations. A person fills out a questionnaire where they answer basic questions so that specialists can qualify the case as gender-based violence or sexual violence during conflict. These are basic questions that do not trigger.
Visits can be online or offline. All personal data are confidential.
The meeting with the psychologist also takes place gently and without pressure.
“Often people come and don’t know where to start,” the psychologist notes. “So we begin by asking ‘How are you? How do you feel? How are you sleeping?’ We never start a conversation with the phrase ‘Now tell me what happened to you.’ First and foremost, we’re interested in how the person feels here and now, what is happening to them right now.”
At a certain stage, according to Marina, Center specialists involve law enforcement. Often people turn to a psychologist after a case of sexual violence has already been recorded by the police. If the person did not initially contact law enforcement, the Center will explain the procedure and provide the necessary support.
“The police should be involved in this case both to document the crime and so that the person can apply for compensation or other financial payments. At all stages of questioning we communicate with investigators, and at the client’s request we provide accompaniment if the person feels it will be difficult to answer questions alone,” Marina says.
The duration of therapy depends on the person’s psychological state and the complexity of the case. The psychologist notes that for some it may take 8 sessions (one session per week), and for others it will last half a year or more.
Marina definitely recommends not staying alone with the problem and not creating an ideal picture as if everything is fine. The first step to processing a traumatic experience is admitting to yourself that you are struggling.
“You don’t need to be sufficiently traumatized to seek psychological help. You don’t need to know what to say. You can seek help even if a lot of time has passed since the event. Even if the person tried to forget. Even if they are not sure the situation is serious. I always say that a person does not need to go through this alone. What happened to you – it is important, and what you feel matters. Any experience requires gentle contact,” the psychologist concludes.
How to contact the Center for Assistance to the Rescued:
by phone:
+38 (050) 626-13-79
+38 (066) 349-36-81
The Center operates stationary in the city of Kherson and in the form of specialist outreach visits.
The Centers for Assistance to the Rescued were created on the initiative of the Office of the Deputy Prime Minister for European and Euro-Atlantic Integration, with the support of the Government Commissioner for Gender Policy, in partnership with UNFPA, the United Nations Population Fund in Ukraine, thanks to financial support from the governments of Austria, Belgium, Spain, Sweden and in cooperation with local authorities.
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